You’ve been seeing a Leo man for quite some time, but things are somewhat sporadic. While you obviously enjoy time with one another and you’re very compatible in the bedroom, you may only see one another a few times a month. On the other hand, perhaps you see one another regularly, but one or the other (or both) of you is hesitant to use the words “boyfriend” and “girlfriend.” You see a lot of signs that your Leo guy likes you, and you like him, but you’re just not sure if you’re dating or if you have more of a friend with benefits arrangement.
You could say to your Leo, “Hey, Mr. Leo, are we dating?” and he may say yes or no. However, that won’t actually answer the question because the term “dating” can mean many different things to different people. For this article, we’re going to assume that the word “dating” implies an intention to spend time with someone with the ultimate goal of forming a close, romantic bond. So, if you’re not sure that you’re dating, one could argue that you’re definitely not dating since there is no intention.
Once upon a time, this type of situation was rarer than it is today. Our society had strict guidelines about how romantic relationships were to progress. To take any of the steps out of order was to risk severe disapproval, especially for women who could end up with visible evidence of premarital sex. Several things have changed since then, not the least of which is readily available birth control. Today, people are marrying later in life and less frequently and allowing more room to explore sexuality before marriage.
While this is wonderful, it can lead to some confusing situations. When two people begin a sexual relationship without having clear intentions about whether or not there is to be a romantic relationship, things can get murky. If you’re not sure if you and your Leo man are dating, but you’re both happy with the things the way they are, then there’s no problem. You don’t need a clear label for every relationship in your life. On the other hand, if you’re genuinely confused and bothered by the ambiguity, it’s time to do some soul searching.
In casual relationships, there may be pressure to keep the relationship casual, even if that is not what you want. You may find that you’re not even honest with yourself about what you want because it can be so painful to admit that you want something that you may not be able to have. This is not a good foundation for any relationship. You must to be honest with yourself, figure out what you want, and then set about finding the best way to achieve it.
Chances are if you’re confused about the type of relationship you’re having, so is Mr. Leo. Often, neither of you will want to have a discussion to determine what is going on. If you’re falling in love with your Leo, it can hurt a lot to discover he doesn’t feel the same way. The same applies the other way around. While it may seem easier to say nothing, eventually you and your Leo are going to have to decide what you’re doing. The sooner and more honestly you do this the less likely you are to hurt one another with careless ignorance.
Before you discuss your situation with your Leo, think about the relationship you want. Then look to see if the relationship you have matches the relationship you want. If it doesn’t, think about what you would like to see change. There are three general conclusions you may come to:
- this relationship fulfills your current needs and wants
- this relationship has the potential to meet your current needs and wants but requires some changes to achieve that goal
- this relationship does not fulfill your current needs and wants, and you do not believe it ever will
No matter what you decide, it’s time to have a talk with your Leo. If you’re confused, that indicates that the two of you have not communicated about what either of you wants or needs from this relationship. If you care about one another, then you owe it to each other to make sure that you are both doing your best to take care of one another and yourselves. You can’t do that if you haven’t shared those needs with one another.
It’s hard to open a conversation of this type, especially if you suspect that the two of you do not have similar desires (but then it’s even more important to talk!). Being vulnerable can be scary because we don’t want to be hurt and we don’t want to hurt anyone. It’s also hard to risk what seems to be a good situation by examining it too closely. However, you should remember that if the situation won’t stand up to scrutiny, then it’s likely not that good.
It’s awkward, but I’ve found it is useful just to come out and say, “Mr. Leo, I’d like to check in about our relationship. I feel as though we’re heading in X direction, and I am happy with that. What are your feelings? How do you feel like we’re doing?” Ideally, you’ll both want the same things, and you’ll live happily ever after. More realistically, you’re going to have at least slightly different ideas about both the current status and the future of your relationship. By being honest with yourselves and with one another, the two of you can determine if this is a connection that can work for both of you, and what actions you may need to take to ensure that you are both happy and taken care of. Should you choose to move forward with one another in any way, then you’ve made the first step to establishing a healthy pattern of communication.
If you’re ready to take the next step with your Leo, and want him to see you as a future partner then you know it’s not just going to happen overnight. You need to learn about how your Leo communicates, and what you need to do to show him you’re ready for a serious and committed relationship. Don’t wait until he changes his mind, or worse, falls for someone else. Take the initiative to move the relationship forward now. The sooner you start being the together, the sooner you can start living your lives happily and in love. Learn how to take control of your love life and get him to commit on your terms here. Only you can change how things are going in your life, and this is definitely the best place to start.